I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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