I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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