She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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