her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
