Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
