Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
