just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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