put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i came on her dog
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
