somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
