awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
