when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
