She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
