im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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