Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
