She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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