I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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