my mouth tastes like poor choices
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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