Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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