some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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