never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
