sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
