I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
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