i permit you to call me
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
