are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Sober January is a disaster.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
