I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
