no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you win again, gameday.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize