i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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