So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.