i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
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i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
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So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(