I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
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last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
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I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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