i barfeds in our rink
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
