he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
