it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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