i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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