Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
