i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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