windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
