At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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