Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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