Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I want a musical about memes.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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