mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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