do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
