So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
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I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.