just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
