Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.