remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”