Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.

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(212): View more from New York

Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!

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(734): View more from Michigan

I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck

(734): View more from Michigan

omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore

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(765): View more from Indiana

just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK

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(765): View more from Indiana

Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99

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(218): View more from Minnesota

i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again

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(423): View more from Tennessee

They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape

(617): View more from Massachusetts

his single is called “stick some holes in it”

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