1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
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other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He better not be in your backpack
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks