So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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