we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
