i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
