Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
