Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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