i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
a search helicopter?!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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