i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize