so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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