Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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