I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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