At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
