I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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