He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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