OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
