that's an acceptable place to lick
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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