she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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