So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
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I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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