I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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