I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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