and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The air was thick with penises
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize