maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
