Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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