what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
