At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
